I absolutely hate the person that I have become.

JANUARY

1. Who kissed you on New Year?
nobody cuz i was at home like every year on the computer saying happy new year to whoever was online. NOT THIS YEAR MAN i'm doing something. i dont care what, i'm not staying home on new years

2. Did you have a New Year's resolution this year?
did and i think i actually did them

3. Does it snow where you live?
it's snowed a couple times already. i hope that's it cuz its too cold =p

4. Do you like hot chocolate?
yep yep

5. Have you ever been to Times Square to watch the ball drop?
nope


FEBRUARY

1. Who was your Valentine?
most likely no one

2. When you were little, did you buy valentines for your whole class?
hell yea =D

3. Do you care if the groundhog sees its shadow or not?
not at all. i think the weather's gotten too messed up to predict

4. Any specific music for February?
anyhting thats good

MARCH

1. Are you Irish?
nope i'm asian

2. Do you wear green on St. Patty's Day?
i think i only own one green item of clothing except for the carter uniform and that was recent so nope

3. What did you do for St. Patty's Day in 2006?
probably nothing.. worked? cuz i'm boring like that... but its changing >=)

4. Are you happy when winter is pretty much over?
yep cuz its just too freakin cold

APRIL

1. Do you like the rain?
depends on what kind of rain. and the mood i'm in too. if im hyper and its fairly warm out i like to run out in the rain

2. Did you play an April Fool's joke on anyone this year?
i think i did but can't remember what i did now

3. Do you celebrate 4/20?
whats that?

4. Did you love the month of April?
does anything special happen in april =\

MAY

1. What's your favorite kind of flower?
right now i'm loving the wild flowers that grow in portugal that sean showed me. they're blue and pretty =)

2. Do you like the spring?
sure why not. its not too hot yet or freezing

3. Finish the phrase "April showers":
...bring may flowers?

4. What is the first color you think of when you think of Spring?
pink, purple and blue cuz of easter eggs =)


JUNE

1. What year did/will you graduate from high school?
2006


JULY

1. What did you do on the Fourth of July?
probably worked


2. Did you go on any vacations during this month?
nope worked, never been on vacation

3. Do you blast the A/C all day?
nope, my room was nice and cool and i was at work most of the time anyway

AUGUST

1. Did you do anything special at the end of your summer?
jason's party was pretty cool =) and i was up in barrie a lot. that was fun too ^-^

2. What was your favorite summer memory of '06
afterprom and jason's party

3. Did you get a sunburn?
never burned EVER =D

4. Do you go to the beach a lot?
didn't even go once. i wanna go this year

SEPTEMBER

1. Did you attend school/college in '06?
just started at york

2. If so where; if not, what you do instead?
see above

3. Do you like fall better then summer?
i like the pretty leaves but dont like that school's starting. i'll like it more when school is over

OCTOBER

1. What was your favorite Halloween costume?
gotta love joe's sumo wrestler costume and dewey's kermit and patrick

2. What's your favorite candy?
i like starbursts and throwing wrappers =)

3. What did you dress up
didn't dress up this year

NOVEMBER

1. Whose house did you go to for Thanksgiving?
i think i worked =\

2. Do you love stuffing?
depends on who makes it. sometimes its really good and other times its dry and yuckie

3. What are you thankful for?
having those i love around me =)

DECEMBER

1. Do you celebrate Christmas?
family doesnt do much.. i'm so starting something when i have my own family

2. If not, what do you celebrate?
nothing.. i've been too busy working to do anything. i miss doing stuff

3. Have you ever been kissed under mistletoe?
haha yea by my gr 2 teacher XD she chased me into the hall

4. Get anything special last year?
not sure what i got last year. my favourite christmas present of all time would be my little teddy bear tho =)

5. What do you want this year?
something that u can't get with money. and for sean not to murder me when i give him his.

6. Do you like cold weather?
I like snow but not cold weather

2006
1. How did 2006 overall rate in your book?
it went a lot better than the previous years. i have a feeling it's only going to get better. 2007 should be a blast

i gotta think of a way to do this without getting myself murdered...

1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING?
nope
2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP?
the on/off thing with sean since gr 9
3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
joe contributed $50 for my tattoo.. he threatened to tell my mom about it if i gave it back to him
4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE?
dropped my new one 3 times now... i got soo upset. it didn't break. i just love it that much.
5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?
i got a flat tummy last week =)
6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?
gas, parking, stupid braces, random stuff for other ppl
7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE?
fries at st. louis
8. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD:
actually working, licks. employed for the longest - instore focus
9. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?
i think i've lost them all now
10. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?:
haven't done it in a long time
11. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED:
my seester's in july
12. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY:
oh man.. sean just cuz he knows everything first and i think i'd tell dewey next just cuz i tell him stuff then joe and courtney and whoever else
13. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND:
i saw courtney on the weekend =D
14. CAN YOU COOK?
yep yep
15. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?:
I drive my blue saturn ion with the suicide doors =)
16. MOST DISLIKED FOODS:
spicy stuff
17. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?:
5am - 12 pm i think it was. open - close shift at licks.. most brutal day
18. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED?
never been
19. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?:
Laptop
20. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?:
yep if you're willing to try

21. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE?
once, and i hope it stays that way. i went 110 in a 50 zone and he bumped it down to 10 over
22. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST?
both.. had lots of pancakes so french toast now
23. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?:
i dont drink it
24. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
i like it the way sean made it.. not really sure what he put in it now but it was scrambled =p
25. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?:
Sean
26. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?:
cousin ginny trying to make me laugh and succeeded.. worst timing ever though
27. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?:
3
28. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?:
short sweater and low pants cuz the tattoo is bugging me
29. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC:
this is the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world. while she looks so sad in photographs i absolutely love her when she smillllllles =)
30. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J?:
JASON BRENNAN XD hehehe anything's good
31. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?:
yep but i suck
32. CAN YOU SWIM?
i know how to swim.... yet i still doggy paddle
33. DO YOU LIKE MAPS?
not so much. i like to get lost while i find my way there unless i need to be there at a specific time and cant be late
34. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF:
i laugh a lot when sean blows off a zombie's head in resident evil 4
35. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?:
maybe?
36. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING?
5am.. almost late for work
37. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?:
pretty snow
38. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?:
first midterm ever. almost made me late. sped quite a bit on the highway afterwards to make it on time
39. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?:
i dont really care about pirates
40. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND??
going up to barrie tomorrow and probably gonna stay there till sunday morning. weeeee spent almost all week there ^-^
41. BIRTHDATE?
Feb 16
42. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?:
Yep
43. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?
yea a little but its not so bad
44. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?
Nope =D not even in university for the rest of the month =)
45. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?:
Nope, september
46. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?:
i've never gone on vacation. i would like one
47. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?:
dont think so.. unless that gr 8 grad trip was considered a cruise
48. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER?
yea, her name is Bertha XD
49. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?:
yep in my room
50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL?
yep when i got really sick during the summer
51. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW?
yea, i freaking want to see courtney. i haven't seen joe in awhile either.. same with alex, dewey, and the list goes on.

part deux

1. I've come to realize that my ex... is really really weird.. stupid asians =)
2. I am listening to... smack that- akon & eminem
3. I talk... to ppl who are willing to listen
4. I love... someone who may or may not feel the same way about me. and even tho it's really hard sometimes, i love my family
5. My best friends... will always be my best friends cuz i'm stubborn that way
6. My first kiss was... fuckin hilarious. i laughed cuz it felt so weird. then he came along.. and every time still feels like the first
7. I lost my virginity... when we skipped student appreciation day
8. I hate it when people... drive 80 in the fast lane
9. Love is... overrated
10. Marriage is... a little to early to be thinking about
11. Somewhere, someone is thinking.... about exams cuz its just that time
12. I'll always... be Jackie
13. I have a secret crush on... it's not really a secret but meh.. i'll admit i still like sean
14. The last time I cried was because.... i was really pissed off
15. My cell phone.... is the coolest
16. When I woke up in the morning... I didn't want to go to work
17. Before I go to sleep at night... i turn off my lights, turn down my music a little and find my teddy
18. Right now I am thinking about... how the hell i'm gonna get beer for tomorrow =p
19. Babies are... really cute
20. I get on myspace...never
21. Today I... feel sick but hoping it'll go away very soon
22. Tonight I will... go to sleep earlier
23. Tomorrow I will... go to my orthodontist appointment, try to get the beer then head up to barrie
24. I really want... to move out

I feel like a completely different person and I don't like it at all. I want to smile and laugh for real. I'm getting really tired of faking it and it's getting harder and harder to do. I'm sick of everything and sick of certain people.. especially the ones who know nothing about me and continuously try to shove their way into my life.
I'm sick of trying to show a different face to different people because I don't want some to know what's going on.
I hate the person I've turned into and I want things to go back to the way they were.. so I can go back to being the person I was.. or at least so I can be happy again.. even just a little bit.

1. are you missing someone right now?
yep like hell but i can't show it

2. are you happy?
not really..probably won't change any time soon but i'll get over it eventually

3. are you talking to anyone right now?
not anymore

4. are you bored?
very. i need to keep my mind occupied

5. are you german?
i'm a fuckin asian according to jason, sean, and many many others

6. are you irish?
nope

7. are you french?
nope

8. are you italian?
they could've saved themselves the questions and simply asked 'what is your background'

9. are your parents still married?
nope

10. do you like someone right now?
still like him a lot and again, it's not gonna change for awhile. buuut there's nothing i can do about it.

TEN FAVOURITES

1. televison show:
family guy, 70s show, malcolm in the middle, simpsons.. probably others too

2. flower:
they all die

3. color:
blue, and baby colours

4. sport:
anything. its more fun to play than to watch on tv

5. mall:
eh..

6. band:
too many

8. season:
fall cuz of the pretty leaves, summer cuz theres no school, winter cuz the snow is pretty but i dont like how cold it is

9. animal:
dogs

10. state:
wherever its nice =p

TEN FACTS
1. hair color:
reddish brownish.. natural is black

2. phone color:
black with silver on the sides

3. car color:
blue

4. hair style:
boring thing for years, only longer now

5. eye color:
really dark brown.. sean says their black

6. shoe size:
5 - 7

7. ring size:
5? i dunno how those go

8. skin color:
asian

10. lefty/righty:
both

TEN LOVE THINGS

1. have you ever been in love?
Yea

2. do you believe in love?:
guess so

5. have you ever broken someone's heart?:
yep so i guess i get what i deserve?

6. Have you ever fallen for one of your best friends?
yea

8. are you afraid of commitment?:
No i dont think so

9. has someone ever kissed your hand?:
yep

10. have you ever had a secret admirer?:
theres a reason why its a secret

TEN THIS OR THAT

1. love or lust:
love

2. hard liquor or beer:
no clue

4. one night stands or relationships:
Relarionships. one night stands are stupid

5. television or internet:
you can watch whats on tv on the internet

6. pepsi or coke:
Neither

8. money or family:
Family.. if only they weren't so obsessed with money

9. phone or in person:
In person. phone just isn't the same

10. msn or myspace:
MSN


and now i go back to doing nothing.

No more Shoppers and no more Rich =)

Life is great =D

<td align="center"> Jacqueline --
[adjective]:

Visually addictive

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

haha

Got rid of the unwanted job

Next: getting rid of the unwanted "bf"

Then: Great job, greatest guy, high marks, more time.. amazingness =)

Can't wait till Friday ^-^

For the first time ever, I actually have confidence in myself.

It feels amazing.

( its amazing how fast time goes by )

finally. =)

i'm definitely not over sean at all. hearing him on the phone made me realize i don't want another relationship right now, whether it works out with us or not.

i had the craziest dream.. skipping all the details, it ended with sean suggesting that we just basically run away from it all. i move to barrie with him and get away from my jobs and rich. i loved it and agreed right away. it seemed so real that i woke up thinking of how to break it to rich. i dont know what to do. =\

i know that i can't wait around forever and i can't keep dragging this on.

*sigh*... i want to be with sean. i wish it would work out with us.. i thought it would. it seemed like it was gonna go somewhere the last few times i saw him. i was happy and had hope. but it could have all been in my head - i don't know. maybe i imagined most of what happened or wasn't seeing things too clearly. i've liked him for so long. i still like him. a lot. love? i don't know. could be. but it's gotta be all one-sided. everyone in that other post said to give the new guy a chance. i didn't want to listen though. i still don't.. but i think i've realized that this is all just in my head and it's never going to work out because he doesn't want it to. he doesn't like me that way and it's time i realized that and gave up on it.. no matter how much i don't want to. matison told me to give rich a chance and to get over sean for a few reasons.. they all made sense too. 1 - he said there's nothing worse than a girl who likes a guy for a long time (not going out, but still crazy about the guy). 2 - he's not even trying.. i'd have nothing to lose and a lot to gain... i don't want to lose sean at all, no matter what we are. he's been there for me through pretty much everything. i don't want to turn down every guy i meet just because i'm still hung up on someone who doesn't feel anything for me.
what good would being with rich do anyway? i'll only wish it was sean instead. blah.
his msn name is right - women are more complicated than a turbo fed supercharger.
maybe not all women, but i know me for sure -_-

forget the new guy and any other guy. i'm happy with the way everything is right now =)

no work until friday. this sucks. i need to make more money damn it! and i need an excuse to tell him that i can't go out with him on any day of the week he asks me about. blah. i felt bad when he told me he was given 6 tickets from the RIDE thing cuz of his car, and it totalled over $700, but i was glad when he said that he's gonna give up asking me out for awhile cuz he won't have money now (i'm not even that kind of girl but whatever. as long as it stops him from asking me out, he doesn't need to know). buuuut he seemed to forget about that as i was leaving work and asked me out to dinner tomorrow night.

he's a nice guy and everything... but gah. previous post.

...

should i just give up all hope of it working out between us and give this new guy a chance?..